Sifting through my desires

So the other day i was having a really weird conversation with someone. He brought up attraction. He was like "you are attracted to him... i think you like him". haha im like "nooooo you have it all wrong! that boy is a really good boy". And hes like "I'm not believing those words because i can see it all in your actions".That really made me laugh and made me think how do i act around these boys? then like 2mins later he goes on to say "but i do however know that there is 1person you have an attraction to and it goes both ways" and then from that moment i knew who he was talking about. I said his name and hes like of course it is. I couldnt deny that one because there was no point in denying it when my aim is to try and become more honest and kind (a task from my stake president). But anyway i just said well im trying to get over it anyway because its not right. And I realise I am getting over it. He said its not a physical attraction as of such its a more so personality attraction. And he is of course dead right. He said its just a phase we are going through and the feelings wont last forever.. all i said i was i sure hope so. I realised that I deserve to see myself in a better light and that I should be treated better and that I deserve better. Not as in better than him but as in I deserve someone better with the same standards that I have. I deserve someone who has the same standards as me and not higher standards or lowers standards. Having feelings for a person that you cannot have is seriously not the way to go. I get over it quite quickly but it all comes crashing back down if he says something pertaining to US or if he brings up WHAT IFS. I'm like noooo I was doing so good and then I get so afraid of the way I start to feel because I know that it is not right and that I shouldn't be feeling this way about him. He is a weakness that I am overcoming. It is so easy when he is not around. Life is pretty sweet. At times I think of him and miss him but then a lot of the time I can get on with my life without him in it. Sure I wonder what he's doing and how he is but I know that life is so much easier and better without us as anything more. I can't wait to be the person that I dream to become with Christ like attributes and even though he is a good guy, I don't think that he can help me become the person that I am truly designed to be and act. Even though i know all that its hard to distinguish between wht your mind is saying and what your heart is truly saying. and then also taking in the consideration of what the holy spirit is testifying to you. i think with me my mind is like i want you and i think we could really make this work but my heart says just let him go. And then the other side of things is that my mind is saying no i have no more feelings, we are fine, we are JUST friends, we are nothing more... but then my heart is saying you only wishes it was you. Thats the hardest thing not knowing which way to go. but that is when we need to let everything out to the Lord, and put all our desires into Him and He will guide you the right way even though you think its wrong and not the right path, Heavenly Father knows that its the right path for you. He knoweth all things remember. And He knows you better than you know yourself. He designed you. He created you. He is our Father. Now I am becoming stronger. It is becoming easier and easier. The day that I look at him and see him as only a friend and nothing more is the day that I cannot wait for. And the day that the unwanted feelings do not come back but heres hoping that its soon. He doesn't believe that we will ever lose our feelings ever. And maybe we will, but maybe we won't. I believe he will always have a small piece of me but that's it. I know that my husband will marry me in the temple. I know that I will love someone so unconditional one day that I will be glad that nothing happened between us. Every time I think of us, I think of this quote...

"Dear sisters, never lose sight of this sacred goal (of a temple marriage). Prayerfully prepare for it and live for it. Be married the Lords way. Temple marriage is a gospel ordinance of exaltation. Our Father in Heaven wants each of His daughters to have this eternal blessing.

Therefore, don't trifle away your happiness by involvement with someone who cannot take you worthily to the temple. Make a decision now that this is the place where you will marry. To leave that decision until a romantic involvement develops is to take a risk the importance of which you cannot now fully calculate"

-President Ezra Taft Benson

I absolutely adore that quote by President Benson and I hope to live by that. I love the temple so much. Of course it is the place I want to be married. Sometimes I just need that quick little reminder of what President Ezra Taft Benson has to say.